November 27, 2010


Just trying out a blogging app for the iPhone.

September 14, 2010

Tuesday Morning Music Mix 2010-09-14

I am returned and I bring you yet another Tuesday Morning Music Mix. The last couple of weeks I have been unpacking my new apartment and haven't had the time on a Tuesday Morning for my weekly dose of music video mania. This weeks mix is made up of a bunch of youtube originals that I have been chuckling at these past weeks.

TLO - TLO Roll Call!
This video was thrown before my eyes by Lauren. I'm sure there is a full story behind this group shot but all I need to know is in the song. They are some hard-assed otaku mutha fuckas.

Tim Minchin - Pope Song
I am so glad to live in the time I do.  A handful of centuries ago Tim Minchin could have been boiled in oil for this funny, insightful and crass song. The most beautiful thing about living in the western hemisphere in the 20th Century and beyond is the freedom of the common people to tear down and piss on our perceived betters. The beauty of it shines brightest when these public figures deserve their lamb basting.

Masters of Lightning - Ghostbusters Theme
I have long hoped to attend a Tesla Coil Recital. Every time I meet with my cardiologist I mean to ask him if that would be alright and every time I  forget. Since I have a pacemaker and Tesla Coils put out electro magnetic fields I feel that I should check before attempting to attend such an event. This is mad science meets musical genius. 

Preston Reed -  Tractor Pull
This piece of music makes me think of the opening of a movie that exists only in my head. A drifter that rides the rails being thrown from a train at the outskirts of a depression area town. He picks himself up and walks into town. Sitting at the lone town dinners counter to order coffee he is met with unapproving eyes and a heavy set waitress shaking her head. Further up the road he chased off of a park bench by a bunch of locals into a nice white picket fence community. Feeling along one of the fence posts he finds some hobo signs marking his way to a warm meal for some chores done. He knocks on the door to have it swing wide open and lying dead on the floor is the lady of the house. The sudden stop at the end of the song with coincide with the downward pan to the lady.

Uncredited - Being a Dickhead's Cool
I think everyone knows someone that this song could be dedicated to. I find that it has been stuck in my head at really inopportune moments. I also find the statement in this song is fairly accurate. Being a dickhead is cool and that is why I am not.

Mike Relm - Korean Explains English Swear Words: Remix
Mike Relm specializes in remixing things people ask him to. I chose this one because I was afraid that 'The Pope Song' didn't cover my mandate cursing allowances. 

That makes another successful TMMM for this week. I am all moved in now and hope to add a couple more weekly features to this blog. If you read my blog please comment. I hope you all have as awesome a week as these guys did and if you are ever feeling down about yourself or need a quick pick-me-up just think, you could be this guy.

August 31, 2010

Tuesday Morning Music Mix: 2010-08-31

Today is a short one since I am busy packing a preparing for the big move to Crofton. Next week I promise a longer list of tracks and some more Guest Musak Tracks. This weeks installment is made up of four songs that I feel are particularly well written.

Leonard Cohen - Chelsea Hotel
This song is great because of the story around it. Leonard wrote this song about the late great Janis Joplin. It is filled with a mix of loving admiration and bitter self loathing. 

Bob Dylan - Ballad of a Thin Man
So many great Bob Dylan songs it was hard to choose just one. I will leave the explanation of this songs lyrics up to Zimmy himself. When asked in 1965 who Mr. Jones is he said, "He's a pinboy. He also wears suspenders. He's a real person. You know him, but not by that name... I saw him come into the room one night and he looked like a camel. He proceeded to put his eyes in his pocket. I asked this guy who he was and he said, "That's Mr. Jones." Then I asked this cat, "Doesn't he do anything but put his eyes in his pocket?" And he told me, "He puts his nose on the ground." It's all there, it's a true story."

Don McLean - Vincent
I have never been a huge Don McLean fan. Many will remember Don McLean for his song 'American Pie' but I have always found 'Vincent' to be his true masterpiece. He captures all of the beauty and tragedy of Van Goghs existence.

Warren Zevon - Lawyers, Guns and Money
I first heard of Warren Zevon through the writings of Hunter S. Thompson. Warren had met Hunter on that fateful vacation to Kuai and although I can't find any evidence to support the theory I have always thought that this song has to have been inspired by that psychedelic snow-leopard from Kentucky. 

August 24, 2010

Tuesday Morning Music Mix: 2010-08-24

I should just change the name of this blog to Tuesday Morning Music Mix, but Katie made me such a lovely header to this blog so I will just have to work harder at putting actual posts between these. This past week has been busy with packing so I will use that as my excuse. You forgive me, right? I beg for you forgiveness with these meager tracks... enjoy.

Elemental - Cup of Brown Joy
This song is my new favorite before-breakfast-ditty. I do say, good sir, I may have to pop a cap in your ass.

Jason Forrest - War Photographer
I first ran accross this song on Warren Ellis' Site some time last year. Any video that has a viking rock off in it is sure to get stuck in my grey matter.

Mr Bungle - Retrovertigo
There is so much to be said about this video. Balding bearded children, Jesus/Drama-Ninja Cults, Cocaine use and adultery. This video has all that and one of the creepiest story lines that I have seen for awhile. I haven't seen any music television for along time and always wonder if stuff like this makes it on there or if it is a new breed of video that exists because of mediums like youtube.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Gold Lion
I have never listened to much of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs but I really enjoy this song. It's simplistic beat and almost spoken word versus make the high reaching and melodic chorus all the better. I found out today that this song also employs one of my favorite music video cliches. The band that plays on after the apocalypse is one of my favorite video motifs.

Q Lazarus - Goodbye Horses
This is one of the scariest songs ever recorded. Forget about the score to Psycho or Texas Chainsaw Massacre this song is what plays in hell on repeat.

B-52's - Rock Lobster
The B-52's are a band that specializes in the insane, if you don't believe me just watch this video to the part where they start making sea creature calls. I really regret not seeing them live when I had the chance.

The Odds - Eat My Brain
The opening line to this song always grabs hold of my attention. What is a 'Doobie Eyed Madonna'? I envision one of those Virgin Mary statues that you see in Catholic Churches with bloodshot eyes and cheeto dust all around her mouth.

The Dresden Dolls - Coin Operated Boy
I have always had a thing for art geek girls and Amanda Palmer feeds right into that odd niche. The smell of mod podge and pencil shavings have always been an odd turn on for me. This song is pure gold too.

Electric Six featuring Jack White - Danger! High Voltage
I had the whole Electric Six discography on my iPod but found that I  only ever listened to this song and `Gay Bar`. Is it possible to be a two hit wonder?

Raghu Lokanathan - Ramona & Caledonia
Now this is the first time I will be posting to the artist website instead of youtube. None of the videos on youtube do Raghu justice. My favorite Raghu song isn't on the site but give Ramona and Caledonia a spin. They can be found at the bottom of the page.


Once again I have begged some friends for some recommendation for my music mix and once again I have been answered by two amigos.

This week the lovely Katie Francis has taken time off of her wonderful web comic Circle of Leaf to help a lazy blogger out.

Imogen Heap - Goodnight and Go
I had heard this track before but had never seen the video. Thanks Kate!

Once again James Pare has brought us a bountiful audio feast from Japan. I had never heard of Polysics before James put it up on the google doc I use to panhandle for music mix recommendations. I now find myself in love with the idea of an a funky techno band with a member entirely dedicated to the art of Popping and Locking. I suggest watching 'I My Me Mine' before watching Mr. Pares recommendation as that video bleeds straight into the other.

Polysics - Electric Surfing Go Go

August 17, 2010

Tuesday Morning Music Mix: 2010-08-17

Good morning my little droogies. It must be time for another Tuesday Morning Music Mix. This week I have opened up the format a bit. I have invited some people on my gmail to contribute. If you would like to play along at home all you have to do is become a follower. Blood offerings are not necessary but are always welcome. Next week your track could be in the Guest Musak Spot.

Pomplamoose - Experation Date. Pomplamoose is my big find of the week. 

Dead Kennedys -  Holiday in Cambodia. Surf Rock meets the best kind of Political Punk. 

Beck - Debra. I don`t think this is the official music video but it will have to do. I love how chaunchy this song is.

Sublime - Summertime. This song feel very appropriate.

Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstron - Summertime. I used to have a version of this song on record that could make stone heart soft. This isn`t that version but it`s pretty damn close.

Nat King Cole - This song is as profound as it is sweet. I have heard many versions of it but this one is still the best.

Gil Scott Heron - B Movie. Gil brought out a new album this year. I have really enjoyed it. At the ripe old age of 61 Gil can still write poetry that changes the way I think about my life and the society around me. B Movie isn`t from that album, but it is one of my all time favorites.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show - The Floor Show. Rocky Horror is my favorite musical of all time. I have listened to this soundtrack for longer than I can remember. I remember the day my Father played all the musical numbers from the movie for me. I must have been nine or ten. He fast forwareded through all the racy in between bits but still played fabulous musical numbers like `Sweet Transvestite` and `Rose Tint My World`.

Guest Muzaks

Guitar Wolf - Jet Generation. This is a very appropriate submission from James Pare. If it wasn`t for James I would have never found out about this quartet Japanese amplifier sadists. Wild Zero is a must for any fan of Zombies, Punk, or Japanese Craziness.

Of Montreal - Wraith Pinned to the Mist. This charming track is brought to DrunkClowns by the ever so talented Katie Francis. I had never heard this track before this morning but now find it stuck in my head.

August 10, 2010

Tuesday Morning Music Mix: Around the World in Ten Tracks

On facebook for the past two weeks I have been doing a 'Tuesday Morning Music Mix'. It is my way of having a kind of radioshow without doing any real work. I am going to start posting my playlists on here so I can keep track of what I play. Enjoy.

Cocorosie - Japan

Bjork - Army of Me

M.I.A - Paper Planes

Yoshida Brothers - Kodo

The Pillows - Little Busters

April March - Chick Habit

The 5,6,7,8's - I Walk Like Jane Mansfield

Manu Chao - Welcome to Tijuana

Depeche Mode - Policy of Truth 

Ennio Marricone - For a Few Dollars More Theme

Mojito Monday

I have been a bad blogger, good thing I only have three followers. I visited James and Candice last week when I went down to Victoria. James was hard at work as a mix-master and awoke my sleeping love of mixed drinks. I had forgotten how much fun it is to play bartender in your own kitchen. Pictured is my first home made mojito. I used some frozen blackberries that Krista had given me. Frozen Blackberry Mojitos are amazing.

There is going to be a change of scenery in my future. Starting September 1st I will be a Croftonite; or is it Croftonian? Krista was kind enough to hip me to a pad in Crofton that is one door down from Dan and herself. At least I know the neighbors are awesome.

Last night I went out to go see Weird Al Yankovic at the Port Theater. The show was amazing and left me with a need to re-watch UHF. That movie is pure gold. Today when I was thinking about the concert I had one reoccurring memory. It was of the first time I hung out with Dan Beadle in his basement the summer before the 8th Grade. Dan had every Weird Al cd that was available and was the first person to play me the whole album 'Alapalooza', up to then I had only heard 'Jurassic Park is Frightening in the Dark'. It was a fabulous first impression and I'm not sure what our fates would have been had it not been for Weird Al. I, for instance, might not be here today if not for a friendship forged by the musical styling of Weird Al.

This post was all over the place. I should really learn to pick one subject and stick with it. If that is the kind of thing you are looking for click on any of the links in the first paragraph. Or if you are looking for pictures of frustrated topless ladies the Amazingly Talented Katie Francis has you covered. Good night internet.

8 Questions: Katie

1. IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN CUTTING OFF YOUR EARS, LIPS OR NOSE, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?  My ears, then I could go as 'An Over-ZEALOUS Vincent Van Gogh' for Halloween. (I had the hardest time with this question)

2. WHAT IS THE MOST MAGICAL THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU? I was once brought back to life with two paddles. 

3. WHAT IS THE LAST BAD MOVIE YOU HAVE SEEN AND WISH YOU COULD HAVE YOUR TIME WASTED BACK? the SORCERERS apprentice was bad, but I wouldn't say it was bad enough to justify temporal tampering. If I had to choose a movie worthy of chronological meddling I would have to sight Indiana Jones 4.

4. BOOBS OR BUTTS? Why do I have to choose? Can't the boobie people and the butt people come together under a common love of round things.




8. WHERE IS AN AWESOME PLACE YOU HAVE BEEN TO AND WOULD LIKE TO SHOW SOMEONE HOW AMAZING IT IS? The Grand Canyon was really amazing. Grand doesn't even feel like the right word for it. The Humbling Canyon or maybe the Ginormous Canyon would probably be more accurate. 

8 Questions: Krista

1. what is your favourite dr. seuss book? The Sneetches and Other Stories. Particularly 'The Sneetches'. That was probably the first story that changed the way I thought about something.
2. where is the best place to go swimming? lake, river or ocean? River. So refreshing after a hot day at work.
3. what is the one thing, that if you didn't ever get to do, you would always regret? Save a Wookies life. Two Words: Life Debt
4. what is the most recent song you have played on repeat? Weird Al Yankovic, I Lost at jeopardy. 
5. if jim gave you 2 cents, ann gave you 7, and john gave you 5 cents would you really care how much you had all together or would you be more concerned that all your friends were cheapos? Of course I would care. I would rank them all according to their contributions. Ann is now my Best friend, John is now wavering between buddy and Chum, and Jim would be my new nemesis. 
6. are dinosaurs awesome? This reads as a retorical question to me. I am pro Jesus Horse.
7. what colour are your underwear? I have lots of underwear in a plethora of different colors. 
8. if we were to play hide and seek right now, and i was counting down from ten, where would you hide? Look behind you...

August 2, 2010

Bath Towel Roman

Bath Towel Roman, originally uploaded by m34tb0und.

I have to post this after hearing how funny Candice thought it was. I have always enjoyed walking around the house as a Bath Towel Roman. I think it's because I was a well to do Roman Citizen in a past life. Plus it's always fun to run around the house in a half nude state.

August 1, 2010

Mmmmm... Canned meat.

DSC_0148, originally uploaded by m34tb0und.

I find this photo to be very sad. This poor bear has to sit there and have small fleshy snacks throw bread at him. I wonder how often he dreams of charging the electric fence.

I have a flickr

I have finally started to update my flickr feed again. It is going to be quite the task. I have over 3000 pictures to go through. I guess that is what I get for not emptying my memory card in four months. So this is to be the first of many flicker dumps. I have also added a handy flickr bar to the side of my blog.

July 13, 2010

If you don't have something nice to say... The A-Team

A couple of week back I went to go see the "A-Team" movie. I went with low expectations that were pretty much met except for one shinning factor: Gerald McRaney. This film would have been a total disaster to me except for the fact that it opens the door to a Major Dad Film Franchise. Why else would they have the rest of the cast put forth lackluster performances and use a script that made no sense other than to showcase the bundle of brilliance that is Gerald McRaney. In case you dare heap scorn at my appreciation of Mr. McRaney or for some strange reason don't know what I am talking about I now submit for you the opening credits of Major Dad.

Major Dad: Pappa's Got a Brand New Flag. Spring of 2011.

Don't worry, it was only me and your web browser that saw you doubt Gerald McRaney.

Post Number One

Welcome one and all to my new Blog. I have decided to take a bold jump into the world of 2006. I will start by saying that this will not be a daily record of my life. There will be factoids and glimpses into the everyday happenings of one Perry R. Johnston, but by no means will this be my journal. The main reason I have started this is to force myself into writing more than just a few facebook comments in a given week. So I welcome all of you who read this to punish me with mean spirited ribbing and taunts if I should let this blog fall silent. I plan on adding some regular features to my blog but also reserve the right to drop anyone of them that I may choose. I will now put some of my rudimentary ideas up for your consideration.

  • The "If you don't have something nice to say..." movie critique is my first idea. The basic idea is that I will write reviews about movies without saying anything disparaging about said film. If you know me at all you will know that this is almost impossible, so this should be interesting. 
  • "As Found on the Internet" is not an original idea. In fact it is the least original idea on the internet. Basically I will fulfill my role as an meme distributer through this blog. I have found this is where I have the most fun with facebook so why not continue the uninspired trend here. There is no reason to tell me how old the memes I reference are in the comments because I am well aware that I am not a 'Hep Cat' so save your message board snobbery for someone who cares.
  • "I once fought a Hobo" will be a piece of fiction that I tend to work on in my own head that goes nowhere but has finally found a home here on Drunk Clowns Aren't Funny. Have you ever had an interaction with an asshole that you wish had gone a different way (I believe the French call it ' l'esprit d'escalier' which translates as 'the spirit of the staircase'). Perhaps a more ass kicking kind of way. In this feature I create elaborate fantasy's of getting in fights with these people. Most of which I lose.
  • Plus I want to eventually start doing a weekly one panel Comic. I can only draw stick men well enough but it will have to do. This one may take awhile. 

Well, that is all I have come up with so far but I imagine some more will show up. Feel free to comment on any of these ideas and suggestions for other features are more than welcome.